Identity Crisis

·I’m too cool to be a nerd but I lack the conviction to be a hipster.
·I’m too broke to be popular, plus I’m way too good in school.
·Id only be an athlete if Twister was an Olympic sport.
·I’m too fat to wanna be skinny.
·Too black to be white too white to be black.
·My playlist reads “indie folk”/”rap&r+b”.
·If I were trapped on an island id pray for a typewriter and espresso.
·I buy pickles and pretzels in bulk and drink diet coke like its water.
·My father hates that I like white guys and my mom’s afraid i’ll get knocked up by some black guy. Hypocrites.
·I can recite the names of the Greek gods alphabetically. But the equation 2x+3y=0 makes no sense to me.
·I speak too ghetto for half of my family and to uppity and white for the other half.
·My hair grows both curly and straight naturally.
WHAT AM I????

wandering-amongst-the-stars
In Roman community baths, it was customary for men to stand and applaud when a well-endowed peer entered the water.

why are men so weird everywhere always (x)

i just imagined this and cannot stop loling

(via retconcorps)

'CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MASSIVE DONG SIR'   'THANK YOU SIR I INHERITED IT FROM MY PARENTS'   'TRULY AMAZING SIR'  
(via theinfinitejests)